abecedarian for mỹ lai
Tho Nguyen
Pleasanton, CA, USA
Amador Valley High School
Poetry
abecedarian for mỹ lai
at 7:30 am, the rice paddies birth
insects from the soil, green-
backed helmets exoskeletons in the sun.
machine-gun underbellies
circle the trees in false
celebration: village out for market day,
daughters weaving baskets of banana leaves
when they see the insects
emerge men, and these men must be gods
because they make the earth crumble,
for these faces christen still lifes from bayonet and bullet, cheeks still red
and the blood even redder.
grandma cradles the children in her arms before the shadows
sharpen into soldiers and
hand hooks trigger, launches metal
to the browning flesh of her throat.
in the bomb shelter, sister spreads her fingers to the sky
so her soul can fly there.
justice is a recruit sobbing as his lieutenant presses
the gun to his hands: if it’s alive,
kill it. their eyes have forgotten the light, only
remember the darkness of a
little boy’s mouth: a knot forever twisted, the unending
black of a mother’s cry
moments before it silences in the pit. the soldiers
frantic, crazed. they know
nothing will be left when they are finished.
monks prostrate on the shrine
offer their lives to a. faceless god.
this the second coming, the apocalypse
painting blood on the bluegreen skies. the soldier kills the girl
when he finishes,
quartered like so many sheep. when there are no eyes
left to stare the men
retreat without a word. none are enough
to capture the blood, but they
slip out nonetheless: we scorched the earth. i can see
the faces. i sent them a good boy and
they made him a murderer. and the earth there rots in red, damp
still smells of death, innocence lost
under the water. the few that remain
touch shrapnel scars and weigh the price of
victory in human lives: how many american lives were those bodies
worth? the courts ruled one. a man reduced life, then twenty, then ten.
when asked, the soldiers stare
without seeing.
xanthic, straw withered yellow. the color of
the corpses they left.
you know, i felt like crying, really, because we had nothing
to apologize for.
zipped up the body bags
like there was nothing worth seeing.
italicized phrases are taken from the words of the soldiers who marched into mỹ lai in march 1968, and their families.
EDITORIAL PRAISE
Truth is often more horrifying than fiction. We all know that, and yet with pieces like “abecedarian for mỹ lai,” that knowledge hits me anew. The frantic flashes of daughters, grandmothers, mothers, and children falling victim to the massacre are deeply impactful, and the author’s choice to include real-life quotes from soldiers makes this poem all the more harrowing in its honesty. There is so much pain here that can never be undone, but at least with “abecedarian for mỹ lai,” we strive to acknowledge and commemorate it.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Tho Nguyen is a Vietnamese-American writer from the Bay Area. Her work has appeared in Kalopsia Literary Magazine, Cathartic Literary Magazine, and The Bitter Fruit Review. She lives for nature walks, night skies, and just about everything dark academia. She hopes you're having a wonderful day!